"I'm not a fan of the 'stache." -my little sister, to me last night

Things to Do in Rexburg At 12am: Part One of a Series

I don't have a mustache. Sometimes I wish I did, so I could really be a hipster and participate in No-Shave November (oh wait...I can...). I do have peach fuzz, which is barely visible, thank you very much. But Ellie has no filter (#related), so she just says things. She tried to recover by saying "Uhh I was talking to Caleb." Caleb has had a mustache since age 2. But, I digress.

This morning I woke up to the most evil birds that have ever been birthed from an egg. ???? I was about to get my flamethrower that I don't have and start a forest fire in our backyard. Don't those birds know what I went through this weekend?! HUH!

Well they don't...but I'm about to tell you. So maybe next time we can prevent this "McKenzie getting woken up at the crevasse of dawn by evil ravens that aren't quoting Edgar Allen Poe, otherwise she would probably like them instead of trying to shoot them out of the tree with a bow and arrow." YA FEEL ME?!

On Friday evening, I went to a BBQ with some wardies. I decided to wear a skirt because it's really hot and I actually hate being hot. A nice 75-80 degrees tops is my limit. Hashtag never living in Arizona, yo. Anyway, back to the BBQ and not my skirt. I went to the park down the street from my house, and nobody was there. So I sun-tanned burned my exposed leggies for a little bit until I realized the BBQ was happening at the other end of the park. Upon arriving there, I got into a great discussion about awkward break-ups, which was spawned by this video. Jimmy Fallon=the template for my future husband (hopefully my future husband is reading this).

One of the best awkward break-up stories was told by my amiga, Marlaina. She said that she broke up with this boy and then he cradled her in his arms whilst singing "Somebody That I Used to Know." For an hour. A FULL HOUR. And she broke up with him, so she was trying to get him to leave, but he just wouldn't. #bless

Then the rest of the night went down like the Hindenburg. Such a terrible joke. Woof.

9:30pm- #Trenterz (all that needs to be said)
11pm-awkward gas station incident
11:30pm- try not to fall asleep
12am- grocery store for a hoagie and some orange juice. and newspapers for a fire we never started.
12:30am- drive up the canyon into the woods....for an hour.
12:45am- stop at a campsite, disturb some people in their tents (accidentally), decide our hammocks deserve a more woodsy spot, drive further up the mountain
1:00am- shine our flashlights into the trees until we see a good spot. set up hammocks.
2:00am- fall asleep in hammocks/sleep-talk for a little bit and scare off the woodland creatures

Don't you wish your life was like mine? #whatissleep

Then on Saturday, because of the night before, I took a nap at 12pm, and another nap at 3pm. I think maybe I'm part sloth. Why fall in love when you can fall asleep? (put that on my tombstone) OMG I know what my next doodle is going to be.

Speaking of those doodles, I'm still working on opening an esty because people I don't know have started requesting these drawings, which cracks me up immensely. Basically what you guys are paying for is "excerpts from McKenzie's filterless mind." Wow, when I first typed that out it looked like "flirtless," which is also accurate. Eggplant emoji.

Oh yeah. And I can't forget about The Saga of McKenzie's Flat Tire. The story goes like this: my front left tire was completely bald, unbeknownst to me (squinty-eyed emoji showing all of its teeth). I drove all over on Saturday, including all the way to the SLC airport and back again. I'm 99.9% sure my mom prayed for me that day, because my tire definitely should have blown out on the freeway in the middle of the night. But it didn't. It went flat rather anticlimactically (holy carp what is that word) about 10 minutes from my apartment, and my lovely friend Kenzie came and picked me up.

R.I.P. you dumb old donkey tire (which took a few days to get off, yay)

Prayer works. Service rocks. Sleep is good.

Thus concludes another weird post from McKeezy McSteezy (huh?).