sometimes

• sometimes I have recurring dreams for months at a time. and then I think "I should go to therapy." And I really think I should go to therapy, you guyz. Maybe it would help me stop talking so strangely. I know my mom would like me to stop spelling "guys" with a z.
• sometimes I think I am the most blessed human on this planet and I don't deserve it. And other days I complain way too much, and then feel guilty for complaining because I don't have anything worth complaining about. Except recurring dreams. And stubbing my toe on the part of my bed that sticks out.
• sometimes I eat two sandwiches for lunch instead of one. because the 2nd one was "smaller." Translation: the bread looked smaller but I put the same amount of stuff on it, so. #justified??
• sometimes I use Netflix solely to watch old Disney Channel Original Movies. And yes, I do this when I'm alone.
• sometimes I can go many days in a row without talking to any of my friends...and I don't like that very much. Introverts like to be alone, but without any intimate human interaction, we go crazy. I'm at that point now. I have two love languages (tied for first place, holla, I need way too much love, it would seem): words of affirmation (surprise) and quality time. And I would like to submit Mexican food as my third love language. 
• sometimes it's 12:30 am and that can turn into a dark place because I start thinking too much about all the things going wrong in my life, so instead I make lists of all the places I want to hike this summer. The list is long.
• sometimes the temple is the only place I feel like my head is on straight. I'm so grateful I work there. Four hours once a week doesn't seem enough. Ain't never gon' be enough. Sorry mom.
• sometimes I love that silly little iPhone of mine but other times I miss the clunky one I had before, just because it didn't distract me. Like whoa. Srsly. I'm pretty sure Satan controls iPhones. And also he invented french fries. Dadgumit, Lucifer.
• sometimes I think I would like to hibernate for a few years. And other times I don't wanna sleep at all because #recurringdreams. GO AWAY PLEASE.
• sometimes I daydream about my future babies. Is that weird? Well I don't care. I think about them a lot. 
• sometimes your whole family leaves for Washington and Oregon without you for two whole weeks, and you cry a little. 

and now, a photo essay on what you've missed lately:

this is Ellie. in this picture she is wearing my shoes, and a wife beater, and some giant basketball shorts. She doesn't leave the house like this because my mom won't let her.

She also say things like this. Regularly.

one night it snowed...this was like 2 weeks ago. #utahsummers

Anyway, I was supposed to run 3 miles, and I didn't want to, but I did, and then THIS happened. Liiiiife lesson up in heeeeere.

 my hiking buddy and name twin. 

Phoebe: "I dare myself not to eat these chips until we get to the waterfall."

When I was a baby, they called me The Heat Miser because my hair stuck straight up.

And now, welp. You can see the connection.

found this at D.I. the other day.

I have nothing further.

Sorry for being such a whiny boob. Sometimes I'm human (sometimes=alwayz). And I add "z" to the ends of things. And I feel sad for no real reason at all. And I drive with my windows down at night and the music turned up way too loud. And sometimes I drive with no music at all. Sometimes I eat ice cream for lunch. Sometimes I jump on my bed when I get excited/nervous. Sometimes I can't stop shaking because I'm so afraid of seeing certain people or going certain places or doing certain things. Sometimes I don't drink enough water. Sometimes I drink too much, and then avoid people who make me laugh too hard. Ya feel me? Sometimes I listen to songs over and over because they hurt, but in a good way. Sometimes I read poems out loud to myself, to nobody at all, to see what they sound like. Sometimes I wonder if I really am somebody. Then I remember that I always was, and always will be. Sometimes it's hard to remember. But I'm trying.