my eyes have been bloodshot for 3 days now, am I a vampire? + a (few) grammar lesson(s)

I call this the "Fleetwood Mac" filter, only bc I was listening to them while I edited the pics 

nO. Not a vampire. Just being compressed in the garbage compressor of ~*STrEss~*. Tip! If you put asterisks and wavy lines around the word "stress," it does absolutely NOTHING to alleviate that aforementioned stress! Just so you guys know! I am using way too many exclamation points! That's an English no-no! The other day I was texting a guy and I tried to correct his English but then I realized it was proper English after I'd corrected him! It! Was! Embarrassing!

Ok, from now on, I'm not going to use exclamation points. I'm so excited. Yes. Do you feel the excitement in here. It's just huge.

Hey, did you know there are people out there who don't pronounce the "h" in "huge"???? DID YOU! Oops. I mean, did you. They say "youuuuu-ge" instead, and it drives me bananas. I'm like "hey, there is definitely an 'h' at the beginning of that word and it's not silent." I get weird about words because I feel like they're...close to me? Or something? Yeah I'm not good with words at this precise moment in time but that's because #bloodshoteyes. I'm having an allergic reaction to everything in my life collapsing in on itself, probably.

Another tip: don't put "probably" at the end of your sentences because nobody will take you seriously. It's been my struggle these past 25 years, so now if I ever say to someone "Hey I like you!" They're like "Um? Sarcasm much?" And I'm like "??? What did I say???" Another tip: don't overuse question marks. People will think that you excessively question everything and THEN they'll label you as "nihilist" or "postmodernist" or "mega-nerd." Unfortunately, because most people don't know what the first two words mean, they say the third one. BUT THEY ALL MEAN THE SAME THING BASICALLY.

Also, don't say "basically" too much because people will think you're trying to dumb down everything you say (because you are), and they will label you as "pretentious." OR they'll flip it the other way and say "why are you so unsure of yourself? Just say something IS or IS NOT, but don't say describe it as "basically" because that MAKES * U * BASIC*." Don't put asterisks around stuff. As far as cussing goes, all I have to say is this: the proper response to finding SIX old burritos in the back of your friends' truck IS to say "what the he**?" Just so you know.

One more thing: USE ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING PASSIONATE ABOUT SOMETHING AND YELLING IT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY THROUGH TEXT SO HERE GOES NOTHING!!!!! (exclamation point rule has been disbanded temporarily for this portion of the show)

DON'T STAY UP PAST 1AM NO MATTER HOW STRESSED YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU'LL REGRET IT IN ABOUT 5 HOURS

DON'T DO HEADSTANDS ON HARD FLOORS IN ROOMS WITH CHEMICALS IN THEM YOU WILL REGRET IT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY (BUT THEN YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN 50 MORE TIMES)

DON'T DRIVE OLD CARS WITHOUT A/C AROUND IN CIRCLES THEY WILL GET TIRED AND START SMOKING

DON'T*GIVE*OUT*YOUR*NUMBER*TO*PEOPLE*WHO*DON'T*DESERVE*IT*

OKAYYYYY!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

Basically, I just broke every grammar rule I told you to follow while I was telling you to follow it. What's that called?

Being a smart-aleck...?

Yeah.

current mood^^