and now there is a boy outside my window talking about his girlfriend's lame texting habits ("she didn't text me back for 7 hours!!!!") and I'm all like "yo, sleeping up in here."

Let the records show that I did not ask her to pose like this. 

SO. It's been awhile. #lyfe

I'm currently in my bed with a hot pad on (duh, because I'm an old lady and I never go to sleep without it). And a scarf. And a hoodie. Because the heat doesn't come on in my room or something. The irony is that there is a firepit outside my window for young single adults to gather around, and eventually cuddle, and eventually DTR and then get engaged. All while I shiver in my room, a mere 10 feet away, and sneeze myself to sleep. Ah, Provo.

I'm currently re-reading Harry Potter. It makes me feel 12. But then again, so does car-dancing, jumping on the bed, and eating chocolate for breakfast (all things which I regularly engage in, thank you very much).

Today a guy came into work and I rang him out, gave him his receipt, bla-blah, and then he like, looked into my soul and said "I need you to promise me that you'll have a good day." I said "Well it's already 6:30 so can I just get a rollover plan for tomorrow?" JK. I said "Um, sure!" ha. And smiled. Then he looked at me sternly and said "No really...promise me. Promise me you will." I said okay kind of nervously, because there were other people watching and I didn't want them to think we were, well, I don't know, he just had this look, okay?!

my thought process: "Guyz, I swear I did not know this human 50 seconds ago but now he is making me pinky-swear and that is reserved for BFFs so it feels like a violation."
what I really said: "Ahh, okay...yep, I promise!"
as he walked away: "Well, you promised now. So I'm going to check on it later. Okay? Okay McKenzie?" (dang that stupid nametag!)
me: Heheh...heh...(trailing laughter)
him: I'll see you later.

I'll mark my calendar for that day. And I shall mark it "RUN AWAY ON THIS DAY AND AT THIS TIME. TO MEXICO."

Oh yeah, and shoutout to Snapchat for providing me with a really awkward amount of terrible selfies on my camera roll. How will I ever explain this to my posterity? 

"Yeah so this one is of me with three chins and the caption says "I just ate lasagna." And I actually sent it to someone and they are still friends with me." Oh I know, I could make a book of parables about it! That'll learn them. 

Parable 1: Choose good friends who will still speak to you even after you send them Fat Tuesday pictures (#notamardigrasreference).

????????????????????

(this was before I added special effects. a.k.a. fake crayon art)

I request the highest of fives for completing this post while on cold medicine. Because if you know me well, you know how I react to any type of medication.

Mentos + diet coke.
Baking soda + vinegar.
McKenzie + drugz.

All da same reaction. Imploding. Exploding. Overall insanity.

here's a brief trip down memory lane (just me, talking to myself):
"hahaha remember when you shaved your legs 3x in one day because you were taking Sudafed?"

"omg or what about when the hospital gave you the stuff that's 10x stronger than morphine for 3 days and you had no control of your bladder whatsoever and everybody that visited you looked like a character from the Willy Wonka movie? remember when?"

"OR there was that precious time you took two Aleve and it knocked you out flat in the back of the car and so your parents went to a Christmas party while you slept in the backseat, and if anybody had walked by at the time they would've called the police because it looked like you'd been kidnapped and drugged (half of that is true). ??"

Ah, memories.

Don't do drugz. Over and out.