look at him and his snazzy aviators and his carefully-placed bicep. he knows what's up because he has a puka shell necklace on. it makes me want to puka in the toileta.
But also, these.
you will never believe the name of the (current) article where this picture was from. "First Date Looks: 10 Clothes And Accessories For ’90s Grunge Inspired Style." No. Just no.
Naturally, my brother and I ruled the neighborhood during those times. Ah, to be a pubescent Pokemon card-dealer again! That's how I built my street cred you know.
p.s. I don't actually have street cred. let's just clear that up right now in case I get any requests from thugs to join their gang. the answer is no.
here's a picture of me, circa 1995, just because?? oh I know how it applies--
I know how to do bicep-placement too. And I don't need a puka shell necklace to do it.
#RIPBarney
While we're on the subject of television, let's talk about Nickelodeon. I mean, I was terrified of the dark (and vampires, creepy dolls, soul-sucking masks, and demon-possessed bloodhounds) but I still watched that dang show, "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" And the scariest episode of all time gave me legit nightmares. Apparently it was number 16 on this list, but f'realz, look at that psycho vampire. I was mostly afraid because we had one of those root cellars and I really thought a blood-sucking fiend would jump out and latch onto my neck meat every time I reached around the wall to turn on the light.
Can't blame a young girl for having an active imagination, ok?
This coming from the same girl who, at age 5, was doodling "beer popsicles" on the program in church (this is not a lie, I don't like about anything, especially beer popsicles).
Imagination is powaaaah! But sometimes it keeps you up at night thinking that an ape-cray old lady with a tattoo necklace will grab your feet if you dangle them over the bed. I mean, don't tell me this doesn't make you wanna pee your pants:
Don't even TELL me.
I debated whether or not I should talk about "them" but my 90's spirit animal said "do it" and so I'm doing it. SPICE GIRLS. They are ape-crazy, right? But we love them somehow?
let's take a moment of silence for all the people who hung this poster in their rooms. or who still have it hanging in their rooms...oh gosh. just pray. pray really hard.
Shout out to my girl Amy, who channeled Baby Spice for many moons and dressed up as her for Halloween and had a Spice Girls folder, which I vividly remember coveting. So.
Oh yeah, speaking of the Spice Girls, have you seen this? Somebody do this with me in real life. Then we can become best friends.
Now let's talk about Disney-related things. Specifically Pocahontas-Disney-related things. I was/am/was obsessed. Yes, my 5th birthday party was all Pocahontas-themed. My mom worked at the Disney store so we had the hook-upz. I have an entire photo album dedicated to this party, ok? If we're BFFs then you can see it. All others must fill out an application.
I also owned a really creepy piggy bank with John Smith and Pocahontas cuddling. That was the piggy bank. Just them cuddling. And John having a coin slot in his back, which just made it look like he was having spinal surgery and in no way would he be in shape to be cuddling at that moment! You know? Okay well...Disney store: work on your coin slot placement. Thanks. There are kids out there with morbid imaginations.
Oh yeah. Let's not forget my broski's Chief Powhatan boxers. Ah, don't you love saying that? It's like those words were all meant to be together. Chief Powhatan boxers. Now, story-time. Yet again. If you make it through this post I will give you money. Hard cash.
One fateful day, he was climbing the tree in the front yard wearing those Chief Powhatan boxers (and nothing else on the bottom) and ripped a giant hole in them! R.I.P. Chief Powhatan boxers. You were the coolest thing to ever grace Isaac's underwear drawer.
a photograph of my brother and me, probably around the time the following story took place.
check dem grillz (on the car, gosh).
One fateful day, he was climbing the tree in the front yard wearing those Chief Powhatan boxers (and nothing else on the bottom) and ripped a giant hole in them! R.I.P. Chief Powhatan boxers. You were the coolest thing to ever grace Isaac's underwear drawer.
Realness: it felt weird to type that last sentence. Moving on.
Now I'm gonna take you through time with these sentimental images. For those of you who grew up in this decade, get your kleenex out, okay? Trust me.
1,000,000 points to Gryffindor if you know what movie this is.
life lessons from Arthur (a show I still watch, and I'm not even sorry about it)
I'm actually crying right now looking at this.
yes I did once go to a secret powderpuff girls meeting in a trailer. in a TRAILER. we weren't cooking meth, though. we were discussing our powderpuff powers. again, not a lie. what a childhood!
ain't no field trip like a "let's travel through a fellow student's intestines!" field trip
Oh, this game. I always died via snake bike and I could never ever cross that dang Platte River. It's a video game, how hard can it be to get a 2-D character through a pixelated pond? Super hard.
what kind of person invents this for children?! like, who are you and how do you still have your eyebrows? I'm pretty sure I would've shaved them off by now, if I knew who you were and where you lived.
My brother was known for stealing the neighbor's Ferbies and pushing them down the driveway, just to hear them say "oouuch, thaat huuurt" in their creepy voices. Ah man, he thought it was so chilarious. The neighbors didn't.
how many times do I have to say that I don't wanna hear 12-year olds singing "I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch." Like, it's done. Be done. My ears are lit'rally bleeding. Oh and don't worry. There are 24 of these. TWENTY FOUR. That means there are more of these than there are years of my life. What does this say about me?
Mm, don't answer that.
if you didn't watch this show, who are you?!?
God bless the 90's. And Isaac's ensemble. And my face, which I still make, to this day. And that backpack, which I am pretty sure had Barney on it. And that afghan. And that wallpaper. Oh, that wallpaper.
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