will write for tacos: *boils water* "wifey materialllllll"

I have a question. Is putting your laptop on your lap cancerous? THIS IS SRSLY SERIOUS. I do it all the time, but I also use my hot pad more times than most old people (probably), sooo.... anyway, why is it called a laptop if you're not supposed to put it on your lap? They don't call it a legtop or a facetop. Anyway.

Sidenote: I'm watching this Princess Diana documentary thing on Netflix (I know how lame I am ok) and omg drama queeeeen. Yes that pun was intended. But srsly guys. I mean I know she was super famous and stuff but she didn't have to like scream and cry so much. Maybe that's just the movie version of her. Maybe she just needed a Midol. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't write Princess Diana's biography.

It's been a long time (translation: a few months) (weeks) since I wrote a good/bad/funny list on here. Or any kind of list. And what is a blog without lists? The truth is I have writer's block, but I want to barf some text onto this blog to keep it from it getting moldy and old like those graham cracker crumbs I found in the pantry earlier.

bueno
1) going to the mountains almost every day! also getting real sunburnt. I'mma be a human leather purse in like 15 years.
2) consuming a lot of mint limeade. and water. but mostly limeade.
3) a typical dinnertime scene at my house (this was tonight's for example): we're eating. started to talk about hiking, and how some people in the family don't love it as much. ellie asked why. my dad said "ever since the Bigfoot attack a few years ago..." Ellie is gullible, so she immediately was like "Really? Well what happened?" And my mom said "We kicked him right in the nougat!" And I said "Nougat? I can never eat a candy bar again." /end scene (well, then we watched lots of Sasquatch sighting videos at the dinner table)
4) CHOCOLATE PIE OVERDOSE (this could be bad in a few hours)

malo
1) spelling my own name wrong in an email to my English professor. He's probably like "Hmm how can we take back that acceptance letter...?" FACEPALM (my comp keeps tryna autocorrect that word to "FACEPLATE" and it's making me craugh)
2) sensual back rubbing in church, gross.
3) the word "sensual" hahaha what is that even
4) finally finishing "A River Runs Through It," which I had been putting off because I knooooow how it ends, and I still cried. Probably cried enough salt to make a good batch of biscuits.

funny
1) shae's story about her mom telling her mermaids didn't exist (I've never heard a story like this IRL)
2) also, the dude next to us on University who had a garter (circa 1984) hanging from his rearview....jamming to Taylor Swift like it was nothing. Should I put up a missed connections ad???
3) adding "mom" to the end of every Fall Out Boy Song. TRY IT.
4) THESE PITCHURS:
(animal edition)