an email excerpt from 3 months ago that was strangely foreshadowing

me @myself

I re-read emails I have written to people because they're kinda like journal entries. This one in particular...was just so good. Also, I have writer's block and can't think of anything to say right now. So I'll go for something I said.

subject line: brain barf
to: my sister missionary frand, Brittney

When I first typed the subject line, it came out "Brian barf." And that makes no sense at all, but it's way funny, right?

I just really felt the need to write you today. And maybe I just needed to write and get some shiz out of my head, but I'm writing it to you. I hope you ENJOI it. Ok, first of all. This new trend of spelling "enjoy" E-N-J-O-I? Horrible. Needs to be aborted. ABORT ABORT.

Time for the real reason of this email, which is me barfing my thoughts onto paper. Erg...not paper..just...email screen...whatEVer. I guess I've already started the brain barf prematurely huh. 

I was typing "pantry" in a work email and it came out "panty." H8 MY LYFE. Not really though. Because that was funny, in a sad way. Kind of like when a girl tucks her skirt into her tights unknowingly and her undies are showing. Funny and sad. NOt sure how I finagled an underwear reference into that paragraph TWICE but I did. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Ok, wanna hear a dumb/funny story? *you nod your head because that's what all my emails are*

In 10th grade, me and Mike Shepherd were in the same seminary class. He does not remember this. All I really remember about him are these 2 things:

1) he had a Beatles haircut

2) he said "that's the way the cookie crumbles" once

/THE END

I just want you to know that I ate the equivalent of a giant peanut butter cup for breakfast today. But it was healthy. Really! It was "paleo" or whatever. So it was healthy, but essentially, almond butter+chocolate on top. I EAT DESSERT FOR BREAKFAST THERE I SAID IT.

here's what else I have been thinking about lately:

1) my back hurts way too much for a regular 25-year old person

2) I'M OLD. I'M LIKE THE CRYPT KEEPER (name that movie!)

3) I still don't know if I got in to grad school. Or if I got rejected. And I keep having minor panic attacks every night thinking "OMG I didn't get in did I oh no oh no what will I do with my unmarried self then??" Isn't that stupid? But also part of me knows I will get in and I should stop pitchin a fit. 

4) I'M GOING TO EUROPE. Not Ukraine :'( but we will be on the same continent again, for 2 weeks! hahaa! Okay that's kind of sad but better than not being on the same continent, right? #trufriendship

5) seriously my baaaack

6) my friend Draya that I work with just randomly said "Do you guys wanna know how Lamanites girded their loins?" I lost it. LOST IT.

7) this early spring weather in UT is slaying me. I can't handle it ~~~*** I just know we're going to get winter dumped on us again and all my hopes will be dashed for an early spring. From your emails, it sounds like Ukraine is in the same boat. But not the same continent. Duh.

8) I would probably stab a man for a burrito right now. 

9) when u get home I'm gonna tackle you with love (that just means I will hug you until your head pops off, but not in a literal, graphic way, just metaphorical, hence the "Tackle with love" bit)

10) I should prolly end this brain barf now. Right now.