me: "I just want attention right now." houston: "then please write a blog post about me."

This is the first post I have written since being marriaged. Houston is rubbing my feet while I write another blog post of our conversations (he likes to think these posts are all about him, but he wouldn't have anyone to impress with his wit if it weren't for me). 

H: "And on the couch you will find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes." 

H: "Did u know I've proposed to so many girls they call me the Lord of the Rings?"

Houston: "I was the fastest guy in my high school....{long pause}... at fifteen puzzle."

From Jaws: "all they do is swim, eat, and make little sharks."

Houst: "that's all I wanna do!

*at DI*

"Should we set the lampshades on fire and play Modest Mouse?"



"I have crinkle chips"

Me: "I want ironed chips..from the ironed curtain."

M: "I need some gloves."

H: "I have some Michael Jackson gave me. They're all for the left hand though."

H: "If I walked up to you and said 'hey soul sister I'm your mister mister' what would be your response?"

M: "I would punch you ."

H: "Right response." 

H: "I could've picked the princess in the guarded tower, but..instead I picked the one who was always asleep. "

(When watching Skyfall)

H: "You know how the bad guy had fake teeth? Do you think he called them Judy Denchers?" 

cute

H: "When we get married, what are you gonna do at night when you realize I'm a vigilante? 

You'll turn to me and say "oh baby come closer" but I'll be gone. And so will the curtains cuz I'll be wearing them."

*At the Thai restaurant they were out of wontons*

Houston: "It's probably because they closed Wontonomo Bay."

*staring at the rock face in Zion*

H: "How much do you think it would cost to get my face chiseled on that rock?" 

*arguing about plot holes in About Time and him saying Pokémon is better "There's no plot holes in Pokémon!!"

"One day I'll have a boat just for ferrying fishermen. I'm going to name it Carrie Fisher." 

"My phone is like TGI Fridays....endless apps."

*at Best Buy*

Do you remember the guy who helped you?

Uhhh he had a blue polo on.

*on our way to Greek food* H: "I'm the Greekiest Greek Greek Freak."

"Oh I think I'm gonna need frozen yogurt to get through this."

*going into wal mart*

"You're just like Survivorman...but instead of a Swiss Army knife your thing has plastic spoons."

moi: "Oh honey..."

H: "Uh, please call me by my Christian name."

Me: "To every season turn turn turn.... "

H: "To every butter churn churn churn"

H: (no context) "When are we gonna get our next Justin Bieber? First we had Aaron McCarter, then Bieber...but now...we are in an apostasy until God chooses another Bieber." 

*watching LOTR and somebody said Mordor*

H: "Lowe's has more doors."

M, regarding littering: "The world is not your trash can!"

H: "But the trash can is my world."