what's the deal with beets?

#ART

Here's something I don't understand:

-beets????

-people eat them????????????

They taste like dirt. I'm not kidding. Straight from the ground. Fresh from the womb...of the earth. Ew. Just think about it. I know that they are really healthy, but gosh, at what cost?! My mom eats them straight from the can. Since I am slowly morphing into her, I may someday do this. Sry to my future children. Vegetables from cans are a major gag-reflex-irritant to McKenzie. Now I'm speaking in third person. Another gag-reflex irritant!

Today was weird. A lot of embarrassing things happened which I probably won't forget, at least not for 6 months (minimum). Here we go.

I went to a luncheon with all of the Lit and Writing professors on campus. It's basically an opportunity to network and talk about poetry and literature and schmooze and eat cookies the size of ur face. I sat next to my mentor without realizing that's who I was sitting by. He emailed me about a month ago to ask if I needed help with anything, but because I get about 100 emails a day and I couldn't think of anything I needed help with at the time (besides not sleeping, lolz), I didn't respond. WhiCH is uncharacteristic of me, but alas, it happened. So I sit by this guy at lunch today and he was like "Well I've met everybody here except for McKenzie. But I'm her mentor..." whomp whomp. SO EMBARRASSING. Cuz then all the other professors were like "Well, well, some mentor YOU are" and he was like "Well I did email her" and I was like "uhhhh yes, he really did, I swear, and I'm gonna email you back!" It's like when you don't text someone back for a really long time and by the time you've formulated a response it's just a moot point. haha MOOT. Whatta weird word.

So now they probably all think I am under qualified for this biznat. But joke's on them because I ALREADY THINK THAT about myself every day. Smiley face emoji.

Woof. Sentence fragments all up in this blog post. Do not tell my students, because I'm harping on them for this very problem in their essays. 

Speaking of this blog + my students. I used an excerpt from ye olde blog in class today and had the students analyze what worked/what didn't about it. I didn't tell them who wrote it or the name of the blog or anything. Anyhow, my first class thought it was hilarious. So I was like "Yeah, it was me! Haha! YOU GUYS THINK I'M FUNNY HAHA I TRICKED YOU INTO LIKING ME!" Well. Then my second class said "It was kind of weird...we didn't get it." So they didn't get to see Spiderman take off his mask. Losers. JK LOVE YOU GUYS. But wait why am I apologizing you'll never read this.

I work at the library once a week in this lil' writing club called the Cache Valley Community Writing Center (holy mouthful of mouthfuls). We just give little presentations to whoever shows up about whatever writing topic suits our fancy, and then they workshop with us for an hour and we help them write stuff. It's like a writing club, but for da city. Tonight a girl came in wanting writing a petition. And I was like, just sitting there staring at the back of this book I had checked out to kill time (there was a lull and nobody to tutor), and one of the tutors started giving me the hairy eyeball, like her eyeball was about to fall out of her face I was sure of it, and I just kind of looked at her like "u ok?" and then RIGHT when I thought her eyeball was for sURE about to loosen itself from her socket, I went, "OH. Oh you want ME to help her write this petition. Ok." It was the most awkward 3 minute silence of my life. I'm sure the poor girl coming for help was thinking "You guys ARE English majors, right? Also do you need some eye drops?" Yeah probably. Wait no I don't. I cry plenty, thanks. 

Other dumb updates but you're reading this post so obviously you care: it has been 14 days since a strange man has catcalled me, today was the first day it was cold all semester and so obviously I chose to wear a skirt (on a no-shave day, no less!), there's a 95% chance I'm going to Thailand this summer, whoops, whatever tan I had in the summer has vaporized right along with my desire to grade 40 papers. 

this is what 1000% done looks like

and this.

Blogger has lots its marbles and it won't let me line up the pics side by side so you're just gonna have to deal with the fact that this blog is hereby no longer AESTHETICALLY PLEASING. dangit.