the club can't even handle me right now

So, I've been saying that phrase for awhile now...without realizing it was from a song. I usually just say it in a moment of frustration or awe or just plain "what the heck is happening?" You know. The usual stuff.

I woke up today feeling like P-Diddy after he'd partied too hard the night before. You feel me?

 

it was seriously the best dream, though.

I dream about going to the zoo a lot, too. 

Who wants to make that dream come true?

You guys wanna know my most embarrassing moment (of the week)? "Well, what  else does she blog about?"

The story goes like dis: I went to Albertson's semi-late at night. And by that I mean at 8:30pm, but that's "late" in American Fork, and also nobody shops at that store anyway, so when you walk in you can yell things like "I EAT PIE FOR BREAKFAST!!!" And hear the echo bounce all throughout the store. The possibilities, man. The freedom.

So I bought the things I came for, and soon thereafter realized my bladder was suuuper full (I had been at a wedding reception a few minutes previous, and we all know how those go for me). I followed the signs to the restroom, which led me up a really sketchy staircase, complete with flickering lights and lipstick graffiti on the walls.

Okay, just kidding. There was no lipstick graffiti. Still in American Fork, yo.

When I got to the top of the stairs, I wasn't close to any restroom. I was in the employee lounge. I'm not gonna lie, the comfy leather chairs and vending machine looked inviting, especially at 8:30 at night (my bedtime). But I pressed on.

I was greeted by yet another sketchy hallway. No flickering lights. No lights at all. Does this sound safe to you? Especially for a girl wearing very tall shoes and a skirt? Hmm?!?!

Yeah. It was safe. Still in American Fork.

Well, then I finally reached a door that looked promising. I opened it and kind of, sort of, completely hit a person with the door. Not just a person, though. A very pubescent, very redheaded, braces-wearing boy. He smiled awkwardly at me. Then I saw the other teenager with him. I deduced from their mop bucket and the smell of cleaner that they were cleaning the bathroom.

"oOHHHH, so HERE'S the employees! I wonder if they heard me say I eat pie for breakfast..."

As soon as they realized I was a civilian needing to use the bathroom, they awkwardly shuffled out of the bathroom. I think I said "Heh heh...sorrry...."

Sorry I have to use the bathroom...? Eh, I don't know. Somebody had to apologize for all the awkward energy that was spinning around in that room. I took it upon myself to do so.

I think you all know what happened next. I was in the bathroom. So....

beeeeeeeeep

Okay. So I washed my hands, calmed down the frizzies on top of my head, and opened the door to leave.

Bang!

Hit the shoulder of one of the boys again....

Wait. Waiiiit. Were you guys standing outside the entire time?

Yes. Yes they were. And I did not actually ask them that. In my head I did, followed by a scream, and I'm sure my face looked something like this:

here's to bad lighting, wasssup!

Well, then they kind of moved past me like "Hey get out of the way we were cleaning in here..." And I ran as fast as my tall shoes could take me, all the while mortified and thinking "Oh my gooosssh they heard me peeing oh my gosh!" (sorry mom for saying "pee" on the internet).

My life. 

And now, for the musical portion of my bliggity-blog.

when people tell me they don't like music, I feel like this:

I've found some greeeaaaat gems on YouTube lately for your listening pleasure. I haven't done a music post in like...a year. Who am I. So here you go. 

um...the location in this one?? PERF.

How do I get in on making these videos, huh? And why do they all happen in France? 

More here, here, and here

(you didn't think I'd leave you with just five, did you? HA)

Also, THIS. This is crazy. And I realize that you could just take the regular music video and mute it, but srsly. Kind of genius. Kind of weird. 100% awesome. Especially this one. I think someone should take away the music and then add the audio from a movie that's totally unrelated, to be funny. Like Titanic! 

Okay, maybe not.

Oh p.s. I'm apartment hunting again. And I found the perfect one, which obviously I can't have. 

But it's perfect for making such music videos. 

I'm crying just looking at it. THIS IS IN PROVO.

Did you know the crying emoji is my most used emoji?

.....

mmkay bye.