to-do list

What to do when you have received your first grad school rejection letter (which was so generic, honestly guys, you can do better. At least send me a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels to make up for the $50 I paid to email you stuff):

1. cry a little
2. cry a lot
3. stop crying
4. call your mom on the phone
5. don't say anything, just let her talk
6. take a few cleansing breaths, that's right, in and out, you're doing it!
7. maybe go kick something. inanimate. an inanimate thing. preferably of the metal variety. like a dumpster
8. attempt a headstand or something you have never tried before (providing it's legal)
9. make an insanely large batch of muffins
10. don't let anyone talk to you about the dress EVER AGAIN ever. ever. 
11. get really frustrated about this particular episode of LOST
12. ask yourself again why you decided to rewatch this show (UGH SEASON FOUR UGH)
13. have a rly entertaining conversation about lotion and foot rubs with a friend
14. I MEAN REALLY, FOOT RUBS (I wish I could show you this convo but I cannot but trust me it was the best conversation in the history of conversations *bangs gavel*)
15. give a foot rub, make some dolla billz, throw 'em in da air, brush your haaaair 
16. stop trying to write songs like that ^^ just stop.
17. email some other (smaller) universities (not in UT) about their MFA programs
18. let them call you the next day and tell you that you could start classes in April (?!)
19. email someone else about teaching English in Lithuania (you could go to Sweden, that's right, where Leif Erickson is from, and everything I know about Leif Erickson I learned from Spongebob Squarepants #art)
20. read this talk
21. go for a long drive in your car/bike/vehicle of choice
22. take the hottest shower ever because that is a poor people's Jacuzzi and goshdangit you gotta take advantage of those hot showers, amen.
23. stock up on toilet paper cuz you're out.
24. well...? Toilet paper is fundamental!
25. Hey guess what it's almost been 48 hours since you got that rejection!
26. You've already forgotten about it
27. Congratulations.