Mexican, Mexi-can't

I dreamt I was in Mexico again, but it wasn't quite right!

I hate those dreams. They bug me. I'm like, "Yooo universe, I have enough money for a plane ticket to Mexico. AND a passport. So, quit hating on me."

Yeah, but the universe doesn't care. However, the universe always delivers right on time, and always the best packages. Better than Amazon, even.

So, in the meantime, I'll keep looking at flight plans but staying right here.

Just for now though. Just for now.

don't hate on me for missing this face, aight?

I just...DK.

This one is for Chelsea.

We have conversations about boys we are attracted to (three times a week, max).

Basically, the Priesthood is...attractive? I'm going to get excommunicated, aren't I?

do you know how often I say that?
anyway.

boys, keep worthily exercising your Priesthood, you'll probably get murried to a cool girl if you do. who likes your facial hair.

Oregonians don't tan...they rust.

so it was pouring rain outside, as it often does in the Utah-place in the summer,

and I said to myself, "self" (how very original)

"you really should be puddle jumping right now. you HAVE a college degree."

never mind, I didn't actually say that last part.

I just made sure I was barefoot

(also a regular summertime occurrence because my feet hate going to feet prison every day)

and then I ran out into the street in a white t-shirt

but man oh man those puddles felt good on my little toesies.

separately, on an unrelated note, would someone please send me this t-shirt? KBYE.

Sometimes, I add "z" to the ends of things. what of it?

The Postal Service (band, not government agency, mom) was good. Excellent. Stately.

Thank goodness for thesaurus.com, amiright?

But f'realz, they were off the heezy. Good¹⁰ even!

I knew they would be worth that 30 bones and the getting lost part I went through to retrieve the tickets but whoooo cares.

The girl standing next to me cried legit tears when Ben Gibbard came out and started singing "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight," which btw is one of those take-the-long-way-home-on-purpose songs. You know what I mean?

So, unlike the girl next to me, I was moved, but not to the point of tears. On the other hand, it was ten levels hotter than hell in there so I couldn't have distinguished between sweat and tears anyway. Maybe I did cry!

oh alright, since you asked.

The guys who played before them were...uhmmmm....welp, they were just insane in the membrane.
rule #1: don't wear shorty-shorts if you're over 30 and not running a race
rule #2: don't name your band after what I wanted to do after I listened to your music ("baths," and by that I mean take one)
rule #3: don't drop the f-bomb. it's stupid anyways. and just makes me want to facepalm!

Here's how the other Kenzie felt about them:

Oh yeah, and these people were standing behind us the whole time!

Probably the closest I'll ever get to any "celebrity," let's be real.

I'm addicted to some things.

One day not too long ago, my friend Jorge (her real name is Georgia but everybody deserves a nickname that is my friend) was driving by Roxberry,

and she was like "Yo, McKenzie loves Roxberry! I should call her and we can partake."

Then she saw my car in the parking lot.

I am not ashamed.

my mom says I'm a hipster now because I have a longboard to go with my holey Vans.

these aren't the holey vans nor is this my longboard. deal wit it.

Also I have a sweet scrape on both of my patellas from aforementioned longboard.

I haven't mastered how to...um...slow down?

So the story goes like this: on Tuesday my longboard showed up on my porch.

That night I took it out for a spin and I was like "this board is smooth like butter."

Then that gave me a hankering for popcorn obviously, so I made some and had to floss extra that night. #irrelevant

The next night after volleyball, I took it out for another spin in the church parking lot, which just so happens to be adjoined to the temple parking lot. My board must've wanted me to go to the temple (it's one of those special boards...) and I rode it all the way over there! Eric-face joined me for a few seconds but then he listened to the Spirit (and the no trespassing sign) and stayed where he was.

I, however, did not see the sign and gosh, the temple is really pretty, okay? Pretty soon I was airborne and yeah I'm going to edit the story for the sake of my dignity.

Eric drove himself on over in Rawnduh (yep that's his car's name and I even spellchecked it with him, in case you were wondering) and told me I should probably turn around because of "the law" and "no trespassing" and shtuff, and then I grabbed onto the back of his car for .5 seconds, at which point my mother's face flashed across my cerebellum, and I was imagining myself 10 seconds into the future saying "I've made a huge mistake."

So I let go. And he sped off and now I'm a master longboarder!

Cept sometimes I get scared when I have to make super-speedy turns, kbye. 

thoughts: I haz them

welp.

here I am.

this blog is going to be under construction for awhile...so sorry for being lame and having nothing exciting on hur. but you guys don't care, right? right! answer me in the affirmative please!

I still don't have a blog title. I'm...taking suggestions? I realize how dangerous that statement is. Because you guys might have to comment and errybody knows as soon as you comment an atomic bomb which I have placed under your pillow will go off.

So.

Here goes nothing.

PREVIEW TIME. (Only because it's summer and summer is full of previews! Just chock-full! P.S. I seriously need your opinion on this: do you say "chock full" or "chuck full." I mean, what are the logistics surrounding this phrase? I NEEDZ TO KNOW)

coming to a blog near you in the next...week or so...ummm??????

expect lots of brain barfs (mostly brain barfs, lezbehonest), passive aggression, food rants, music vids (not for you, liz), other vids involving music (but these ARE for you, liz..er...at least one of them is), me pretending not to be white, harry potter/the office/arrested development references up the heezy, etc. etc. etc.

until then, compadres. until then.
*cue the dramatic music*