Geesh. That was funky. I mean really. That last post was sooooooo serious. A bunch of people commented to me and said "Dang McKenzie, that was a lot of feelings" or "Is everything ok in your life? You don't have any razors available to you, right?" Gosh. I'm not that emo. Can't a girl wax poetic once in awhile?
Anywayz. I'm going to stop before I bore you to death.
Here's some facts.
Fact #1: I live in Provo. This is indeed true. I have not met two of my roommates yet. Not my fault, though, because they lit'rally never come out of their room. But you know what always gets people out of their rooms??? Do you?! (don't say an atomic bomb because gosh that is graphic). THE SMELL OF CINNAMON ROLLS. It's time for me to channel my inner Betty Crocker. Aand I can't believe I just said that.
Fact #2: I've decided on a running route. It goes up to the temple and around it and then back down the hill. Is there construction on this route? Duh. I live in Utah. The Land of Perpetual Everything Is Under Construction. I just think of it as an obstacle course. If I happen to fall into a manhole, so be it. At least I went down in style.....I mean spandex....wait. No. Those aren't synonymous.
Fact #3: I found out about this amazing bike tour in Provorem (for only five bones!). Who is doing this with me? Just bring your bike and we'll gallivant around all the haunted places. Maybe we can re-make Hocus Pocus while we're doing it. I am down for such an activity.
Fact #4: Flying squirrel costume + trampoline = perfect Halloween, right? Everyone leave your windows open please (that lives in Provo). Because you might be in for a surprise!
Wow. Nothing says pedophile like a costumed crazy person jumping in people's windows at night.
NVM. Forget I said any of that. But LOOOOKIT:
I didn't have time to photoshop my face onto that Brazilian girl's but SRSLY. I mean just imagine all the friends I would make if I wore this. True, these friends might be woodland creatures, but most Disney princesses are BFFs with woodland creatures sooooooooo.
Fact #5 I went to that Lumineers concert but guess what, the "Great" Saltair ripped everybody off and it's a long story which you can read all about on Yelp. Anywayz, The Lumineers ended up giving everyone a refund even though that wasn't their responsibility, but they are beautiful people (shout out to Jeremiah's beautiful face, specifically) for doing so. The Saltair (the concert venue) never acknowledged fault, and plenty of people who were there had things to say about it. The best insult I saw on their f-beezy wall was: "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your minarets!" I feel like she studied Egyptian history at some point in her life. Omgosh maybe she's the Pharaoh's wife and she like traveled through time! Did anyone else see "The Mummy" back in the 90's? No? I'm the only one without taste? Kbye.
Oh, and there was a drunk girl at this concert (actually there were, like, thousands of drunk girls I think, and drunk guys, and people who were high). But while we were stuck in the crazy parking lot after our not-concert, I decided to make the best of it, and videotape aforementioned girl who was clearly wasted on something, but this did not in any way hinder her hula-hooping skillz (this is the videos I promised you, Eric-face).
oh yeah, and a truck started to back into us at the end of this vid. NBD
Fact #6: I recently learned how to make Brazilian cheese puffs. The story goes like this:
{me driving in my car, on the phone, which is not illegal, btw}
mama jo: hey we're making cheese bread balls over here.
me: you spoke the right words. bread. cheese. together in one food. I'll be there soon.
recipe is right hur, folks
Fact #7: Somebody made this Bill Nye gif. And in doing so, they also made my life.
Oh to live in a time when Bill Nye the Science Guy is on Dancing With the Stars! I can't wait to tell my children about this someday.
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